"After all we can do"

Earlier last week I was reading along in a book that I've been "reading" for almost a year now. :) Life does that to you sometimes. :)  It's called The Continuous Atonement, by Brad Wilcox (a BYU professor and member of a BYU stake presidency).  Much of the book has been pretty straight-forward, nothing to really comment on.  But then I came across Ch. 6, and it's kind of changed me--I hope long-term.

The chapter is based around the scripture in 2Ne 25:23, "For we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do."  He points out that this is a scripture that is used widely in the church, but that just maybe we don't always fully understand it.  If we fail to comprehend it, it may be a source of discouragement rather than hope.  Let me explain.  Brother Wilcox goes on further to explain that based on where we place the emphasis in the phrase "after all we can do" makes a huge difference in how we understand the scripture.  For example, if we focus on the word "after" then we sort of view the grace and the saving as something that comes later, that comes at the very end, after all that we can do.  That can seem hard, and frankly makes me feel quite alone and like I'm not allowed to make mistakes. What about the rest of my life when I am making mistakes and need help?  It doesn't make sense that a loving Heavenly Father, and a Savior who has already atoned for our sins, would withhold that enabling power from us for our entire lives until we have done all that we could do.  It isn't consistent with our Latter-day Saint understanding of grace, nor of the Atonement for that matter.  Yet we hear that still, at times, when we hear that scripture.  Wrong thinking. So now, stay with me.

Brother Wilcox goes through each of the words in that phrase, discussing what it'd mean if we put the emphasis on each particular word.  The one that really hit home with me (besides the "after") is the word "all."  After all we can do.  How am I not supposed to fall short of that?  Of giving my all, when I don't even know what that is?  And even when I do, sometimes I am just so tired that giving all of that just seems exhausting, and I don't see how I can ever start to do it.  I know that I am capable of much good, but sometimes I just feel overwhelmed with all I should be doing and fall short of getting done. This relates to school, my calling, serving elsewhere, career, family, family history, personal growth and health, etc.  There is so much.  I am on repeat with learning the lesson well that when I put the Lord first (my scripture study and temple attendance) that everything else just falls into place, but I do know it is true.

I want to quote a portion of Bro. Wilcox' words for you so that you can maybe understand some of what I felt. I think that many of you have felt this way, you're all so awesome, and SO busy. :)  He says:

"My children tease me about always being late.  They even bought me a license-late holder that reads, 'always late, but worth the wait.' Like many people, it's not that I want to be late.  It's just there is always one more thing that needs to be done or one more person who desires to talk.  My wife and I stay after church so often visiting with people that our exasperated children have decided we must have been foreordained to be the last ones out of every meeting.
         Once, after helping to clean up after a ward activity, I arrived home late and exhausted.  I collapsed on the family room couch and said, "I'm beat.  I don't think I could do one more thing."
         My daughter teased, "What? Dad stopping already?  Surely there is till time to bake bread for the widows." The sad thing is I actually checked my watch to see if I could squeeze it in! (I kind of laughed out loud with a sob at this part, because I'm sure I'd do the same thing.)
         It has been said that doing "all we can do" is like paying tithing.  Both the person who makes a million dollars and one who makes much less pay the same ten percent. Although the amounts are different, it's a full tithing for each of us.  Nonetheless, the idea doesn't stop me from feeling that if I earned more I could pay more.  ...
        One speaker in Church directs, "You can't do everything.  Don't run faster than you have strength" (see D&C10:4). The next says "Push yourself.  You can always do more."  One person advises "Don't worry about what you can't do" at the same time someone else says, "You can do anything you put your mind to." In one hymn we sing, "I need thee every hour," and in another we sing "We will work out our salvation". In this world of mixed messages, I never can seem to escape the nagging though, "If only I were better organized or if only I tried harder." ...
       In those anxious moments, the greatest comfort I have found is in knowing any effort is pleasing to God even if He and I both know it's not my all or my best.  It may be far from an acceptable offering, but God accepts it nonetheless because ultimately He is more concerned with the offerer than the offering. ...
     Often I am the first to acknowledge that my efforts are mediocre at best.  But instead of feeling bad about not offering more, I recognize it's a step in the right direction.  I remind myself that the word mediocre is from the Latin word mediocris, which means halfway up the mountain.  It doesn't describe how far I can go.  It just indicates how far I have come.  ... No matter where I am on the mtn., the motivation to climb higher is found not in trying to impress God and Christ with my sacrifices, but in letting their sacrifices be more deeply impressed upon me."

Even as I write this, I am feeling frustrated that I took until today to write this--I should have written it when I felt the spirit witness so strongly to me the truth of his words--that it won't be "top of the mountain" material, because it is so long winded and not clearly expressing things.  Oh Tawna.  Mediocre blogging...at least I am getting something out and part-way up that mountain today. :)

I really loved his line "He is more concerned with the offerer than the offering."  You just think about that. :)

I know this is long, but the part that really changed me came added upon this as I read a few sections later where he emphasized the word "we." He asks us to see "we" as meaning each of us with Jesus.  He says:

"It is by grace that we (you and I) are saved, after all we (Christ and each of us) can do together.  In Doctrine and Covenants we read a similar scripture: "Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still ... to see the salvation of God" (D&C 123:17). At first that seems like a restatement of the scripture in 2Nephi, but consider who gave the revelation.  Perhaps the words us, our, and we are not referring to you and me, but to Christ and us."

Try reading those verses in that manner, and they take on a whole new, beautiful meaning.  You no longer feel so alone in all you are to do and have yet to face.  You are not waiting for grace until after.  You do not have to do all you could ever possibly dream of doing before Christ will recognize you or come to you.  You don't even have to be perfect. :)  You just have to be trying.  "He is more concerned with the offerer than the offering."  And we can "cheerfully do all things that lie in our power" and then "stand still to see the salvation of God."  With Christ. With our Savior.  Let me and Him see what we can do and make of me together.  This school stress and problem that I am facing, that I was feeling so overwhelmed with--I don't have to do it alone, or try and figure it all out and then go to Christ and expect him to finally weigh in and help.  With Him on my side, I really can feel confident that I can do anything.  It may take time, but now I know it is possible.  Because of Him.  Because of my partner and Savior.  Because He loves me.  Let me and my Savior go at it together and see what can be done.  He will help me when I don't know what to do, and I have a strong assurance of that.  Just trust He is with you.  "Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still...to see the salvation of God."  Remember that He has all power.  And He's with you.  I now know that as I move and am trying, he's right there beside me.  I felt so empowered.  And with the word "cheerfully" I could see him cheerfully facing ahead with me, viewing what there was to do, and maybe cheerful because He knows that it is possible and how to get there and to get around or to accomplish what lies ahead.  He's done it. :0)  He's with me, and I'm not alone.

That felt so good to remember, and to have witnessed to me by the Holy Ghost.  I really am grateful for that, and grateful for the reminder this book gave to me, in words I could understand and that would finally penetrate me some.

Anyways.  Hope you liked it too. :)