We went to the home of a man named Jasper, who immediately upon our entering began to start putting on his biking gear like he was going to leave. I was a little confused. :) But upon being asked he said he had once told one of the sisters that he'd show them what he looked like in his full "get-up", and so that is what he was doing, without explanation. :) He had quite the set up.
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| This is almost exactly what he had on his head. Except the lights were larger. |
Before going in, the missionaries asked if I liked dogs, to which I replied: Not really. But, really...I don't actually mind dogs. As long as they don't:
smell,
slobber on me,
or shed on me (allergies).
So pretty much I don't like to be in close proximity to most dogs. :) But then again, I wish I wasn't at all allergic and didn't care about snot and slobber all over my gloves and clothes, because I really do love them otherwise! Maybe once I have kids. :) (I'll be covered anyways.)
Yet, because I went in with a desire to be pleasant and happy and to gratefully be in this home, I just immediately loved the playful pitbull (and didn't mind all the torn up clothes and chew toys and hair all over the floor...she was just too cute!!). Amazing what love and attitude can do. Seriously, I loved this dog. But I digress.
The sisters had told me that Jasper was a talker, and that lessons tended to run long, so they'd try to keep it short for my sake. I think it was partially for their own sakes as well. :) Once we got in and sat down and started talking, it was clear that Jasper had a lot of questions and things he'd been trying to comes to terms with internally. Rather than have the sisters rush through, I made it clear we could stay and answer as many of his questions as the sisters felt we had time for.
Jasper's questions were good ones, and many of them were more philosophical than doctrinal. That was one thing we connected over further into the lesson, as I mentioned that I studied moral philosophy at OSU; he was REALLY excited about that. He finally looked up and looked me in the eye and suddenly seemed relieved to feel like he had an ally? An understanding, sympathetic listener? Just someone who he knew could understand what he was worrying about. I was glad that I could say that, so that it gave my words a bit more "clout" in his mind. But when he asked me what moral philosophy I sided most with and adhered to--I got nervous. haha. I may have studied it, but I am no expert! But before I could answer--luckily--he responded that he was Virtue Ethicist, which just so happens to be the exact type of moral philosophy I was doing much of my research around.
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| Aristotle's Golden Mean |
Whew. I still didn't want any follow up questions to test my knowledge, but at least it wasn't something I was totally unfamiliar with. (Dodged that pop quiz.)
I'm rambling. Point is--what I took away from this lesson was a feeling of love for Jasper as a son of God, searching. The first part of the lesson seemed to really be putting the sisters on the defensive side; I don't fault them, but recognize how easy it can be to sometimes forget to really listen to what the person is trying to say or ask when it doesn't always agree with what you are saying, and to stick with simple, rote answers that you know. As soon as someone starts to question those simple answers, I've seen some missionaries clam up, repeat, and just talk around whatever it is the person is asking--taking it as an attack, instead of a person sincerely wanting to find an answer, but awkwardly sitting with two people in their living room who are just trying to get their own message across, without really addressing any concerns you have about that message. It's awkward on both sides! And honesty is important, no matter how combative the one questioning my seem. You can tell, or the spirit can help you tell, when there is a real kernel of desire to find an answer, even if they don't think you have it. Sincere testimony comes from sincere experience with praying for answers, and with experimenting upon the word ourselves. People need to see how it's honestly impacted you, even when things got hard. Practical, real-life experience. Not just niceties. The gospel isn't just about niceties. It's real. It has real power. When we testify of that, we need to believe it, and have experience with it. We need to have our own witness of Joseph Smith, and prophets, and conference, and repentance, and the spirit, and tithing, and morality, and families, and forgiveness, and a whole host of other gospel topics if we are to testify of them honestly, from experience. I haven't experienced all things, but I CAN testify of the real experiences that I have had that have proved to me the the Spirit is a feeling of peace, and this IS Christ's true gospel on the earth, restored by him, through Joseph Smith. I can talk about feelings of joy and direction in conference, because I have felt them and sought them. And I can testify that I know the Book of Mormon is true because I have sought out that witness for myself through years of study and prayer, and have received a powerful witness, along side much smaller ones.
This is still long; longer. :) I guess I just wanted to document the ending, but built up by describing some of the experience first. But the ending was the best, besides the feeling of peace that accompanied my testimony to him of how we move forward with decisions when we are uncertain of whether we are being guided by the spirit or our own desires. I LOVE when I feel the spirit testify so clearly of a truth, so that I again have current experiences to build upon, and to serve as a witness to me. Anyways. At the end of the lesson, Jasper said a beautiful, and very honest and sincere prayer. As he prayed, I really felt that God loved him and that Jasper really was wanting to know if this was true--he was sincerely seeking, even if his questions and attitude didn't make it so easy or obvious to guess that. I felt a love for this man, and a desire to express gratitude to him. I felt our commonality in just being children of God seeking to do our best with what we knew. And even not always seeking to do our best, but still being children of God. I felt some oneness with him, in God's eyes, and that was a beautiful feeling. I have felt some of that the past 3 lessons I have sat in on recently with different investigators, and it's been something very recognizable, and almost tangible-- as the spirit can sometimes tend to feel.
I'm really grateful for these missionary opportunities I've had here, and the great feeling it is to try to see others as God seems them, and to remember them (really) as Heavenly Father's children--to try and seek common ground and build feelings of oneness and friendship.
Anyways. Much longer than intended for an impromptu writing of a post. Love you.
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